(Yep, some huckster has convinced me to put a banner ad up on my site. Yep, I am that huckster.)

                Vladimir is a cat.
                All cats are dogs.
                Therefore, Vladimir is a plaid groundhog in a blue sport jacket.

Monkeys 1, Typewriters 0

If my writing doesn't make you laugh, try reading it out loud.
(If that doesn't work, try reading something funnier out loud.)

I am delighted to have readers visit this site and ingest my work. But please note that all my work is copyright-controlled, and that the presence of these materials online does not grant others automatic license to publicly distribute my manuscripts, produce my plays, etc. Those interested in producing or reproducing pieces they've read at this website should write to me at the email address found at the bottom of this page, and we will certainly work something out. Thanks!

ITEMS INTRODUCED BY TRIPLE ASTERISKS:

*** My comedy As Long As It's in the Script: A Sex Farce Within a Sex Farce was a finalist in Cheshire Comedy's "Funniest Play on Earth 2008" contest!
This play was also a finalist in the 2006 Mountain Playhouse Comedy Playwriting Contest.

*** Murray Suid, Mary D'Arcy and I have written a sitcom pilot, Come This Way, which was recently performed in northern California (as a staged reading) in a program of short plays called Acting Locally.

*** My one-act farce The Can of Yams is available through Baker's Plays. Here's the official synopsis:

There's only one thing standing between egotistical painter Alan Plum and the fame he craves . . . and it's a can of yams! To his sister Delphinia's dismay, Alan has cherished the can of yams since childhood. He has even chosen it as the subject of his unfinished masterpiece. But when gallery owner Heather Lyme announces a visit to Alan's studio, his insecurities rise to the surface, and an artistic crisis erupts around the still-incomplete still life. With Heather and her assistant on the premises, the panicked Alan makes frantic, ridiculous attempts to impress, stall, and paint. Meanwhile, the fast-talking, sardonic Delphinia tries to salvage her brother's career--and straighten out her own love life. Sharp-witted dialogue drives this frivolous, one-act farce.

*** Various literary things that I have something to do with can now be found at Amazon.

*** Eclectic genius Craig Conley describes his Moon * Fish * Ocean as "a Zen hand game for one, two, or three players," noting that "Zen disciples play Moon * Fish * Ocean as a form of mindful meditation, or to determine who will chop wood and who will carry water." He explains that "a less poetic, secular version of Moon * Fish * Ocean is popularly known as 'Rock, Paper, Scissors.'" I'm honored to say that I had a, uh, hand in this project! You'll find the one-panel cartoons I scripted on this page at the M*F*O site.

*** I contributed some "additional funny bits" to Craig Conley's Field Guide to Identifying Unicorns by Sound. At once a reference book, a commonplace book, a work of fantasy and, above all, a volume of wit and playfulness, this unique little tome blend's Conley's signature sensitivity to the awe and magic wrapped up in folkloric phenomena with a tongue-in-cheek bending of scientific principles to his fanciful purpose. Follow the link to read it online for free or to order a print copy.

*** Is it a work of comparative religion scholarship? Is it a tool for personal growth? Craig Conley's Oracle of the Two-Fold Gods is all of the above . . . but it is also, once per chapter, a humor book! I had the honor of creating 22 tongue-in-cheek tidbits to complement the actual guidance and advice contained in the volume.

*** One of my limericks saw ink in The Washington Post Style Invitational.

Plays:

THE WAFFLE TRUTH
THE PROOFREADER'S IN THE PUDDING
CYBER & DOUGHNUTS
SURELY, YOU JEST!
This play was part of Scranton Public Theater's 2004 Jason Miller Summer Theater Festival.
THE ESSENTIAL EDGAR TISWELL: Fragments from an Unfinished Comedy
FARCE THING IN THE MORNING:
A Bed & Breakfast Sex Comedy in One Uninterrupted Act
DROP BY ANYTIME:
A Slight but Charming Little Comedy that's Perfect for 10-Minute Play Festivals
YOU CALL THIS HOSPITALITY?
A Farce in One Act (and Three Accents)

Doollee.com is a database that aims to document every play produced or published in English!
Waiting in the Wings covers theater-related news in my corner of the world, northeastern Pennsylvania.

Stories:

The Major Trifles:

Short (inseam 30) and Medium-Sized (7¼) Pieces:

Special Features:

Oddities:

If you're not tired of me yet, visit You Had to Be There.
Want to view my appearances in the Shoecabbage comic strip?
How about my contributions to the Omnificent English Dictionary in Limerick Form?
Read my real bio.

Back to: Hilary & Jonathan's home page

E-mail Jonathan at jce@salticid.com.